Suka duka happens

Life continues to be full of surprises here in Jakarta. It seems at about four week intervals I am surprised at how far I have come, the new things I am accomplishing or trying to figure out how to deal with some new aspect of life that I have to navigate just by virtue being an expat.

First, I guess I should explain what suka duka means. Suka duka is basically good and bad. You know, ups and downs. I think suka duka is much more fun to say than ups and downs so I will be using that phrase whenever I can in a conversation. Maaf to those who live in Jakarta because I am sure I will wear it out. Another couple of new fun words are ibu and pak. I am called ibu (i sounds like an e so it is e-boo). Sometimes, they seem to shorten it a bit and it sounds like they are just saying boo. What makes this amusing is that we used to use the word boo with our son when he was just a little guy. So it makes me smile to be called this. Now, my honey lamb is called bapak or pak. That is basically sir. Pak carries a lot more weight than ibu in this culture. When he starts to act a little uppity, I tell him he is acting like a pak-head and to cut it out. So, there is your Bahasa Indonesia lesson for the day. Now, back to the story of happenings here.

This past Saturday, we were supposed to meet the realtor and the man who is going to make draperies for the house we will be moving in to at the end of May. However, that is not exactly how it played out. We arrived at the house and the realtor was waiting for us. So far, so good. As we waited for the drapery man, the realtor informed me that the landlord's wife would be coming by and along with her would be the landlord's mother. "Mom" is currently residing in Florida but is back in Jakarta for a visit. Hmmm. Me thinks this is a test.

The drapery guy arrives, and we discuss, through the help of the realtor, what things need to be made. In the middle of all of this, the landlord's wife arrives. She is alone. We talk of the things that they have done and discuss the things that still need to be addressed. So far, so good.

As we are finishing up with the drapery fellow, the landlord's mother arrives. With her is one of the landlord's brothers and the landlord's future sister-in-law. So at this point there are now 8 of us standing in the living area exchanging pleasantries, except for the drapery guru who didn't speak a lot of English and probably didn't care if we impressed "Mom" or not. As I had suspected, this was indeed the final approval needed for the completion of this rental agreement to go through. Everyone seemed to be watching to see what the Grand Ibu's reaction was going to be to the new bule tenants. Well, I guess we managed to pass with high marks. She was smiling as we chatted about Florida, our sons, the house, traveling, missing our sons when we are not near them, blah, blah, blah. My sweetie pie said I earned especially high marks when we compared notes about crying after leaving our sons to go to some distant land.

Finally, Mr. Drapery Man manages to extract himself from the scene and we are now down to 7. More chatting happens and the Top Ibu, shook hands with us and we proceeded to shake hands with everyone left in the room before the entire process was over. Also at this point the landlord's wife must have felt tremendous relief over passing her own little test as she got much more talkative and friendly too. In fact, she said she is looking forward to coming over for a nice long visit and maybe dinner. I have asked around and most folks don't even know who their landlords are. My friend Gail said her landlord is in some place other than Indonesia due to some kind of sticky financial situation with the Indonesian government that could put him in the slammer. Guess they won't be having dinner with him.

We also took on our permanent staff last week. We said a tearful goodbye to Nurdin, our temporary driver on Wednesday. This is the duka part of the post. I really didn't expect to get so attached to him. I bought him a very handsome long sleeved batik shirt, wrote out a card, included a cash bonus, gave him a letter of reference and presented the entire kit and kaboodle to him when he brought my hubby home from work. I could not believe how teary eyed I got. We all shook hands and we watched him drive away. God help me. I can only imagine what I am going to be like with folks I spend three years with when it is our time to return to home soil.

My cutie pie husband said that he thought we had imprinted on Nurdin like little ducklings do on the first thing that they see upon hatching from an egg. He was our first introduction to Indonesia. We had to struggle through the total disorientation one feels in a new city with him. We had to experience the terror of Jakarta traffic with him. We had to learn to let go and trust him to drive us around always realizing that our lives were very much in his hands.

He is very much the typical Indonesian. He laughs and smiles easily, he smokes clove cigarettes, he is just a slip of a fellow who is always eager to please and no matter what you asked him he always said yes. "Do you know where the immigration office is?" Yes. "Is there a grocery store near here?" Yes. "Should we go to this place first and then this other place next?" Yes. Even if the answer shouldn't have been yes, that is what you got. Bless his heart, he always tried to get it right and not disappoint you. He is certainly someone we will not forget.

May your days be filled with more suka than duka.