Monday, April 29, 2013

I will always be Miss July

My honey bunch and I are attempting to play golf.  Some days it's not bad and some days it is so bad I want to give up completely.  In this attempt to master the links, we are taking lessons and we try and go out and play on a real 18 hole course once a week

The closest course to us is a very hilly course that has bunkers that would be able to actually protect you in case of an emergency.  They only pretend to be actual golf course obstacles.  You hit your ball in there and you practically need steps to get in and out.

The staff there is quite nice and we have played there many Saturdays in a row.  Therefore, when our car pulls up they greet us by name and fill out little cards on pieces of elastic thread to connect to our golf bags.  The only problem is, that they get my name wrong every time.  I am always Ibu July or Miss July.  They are so insistent that this is my name nothing seems to change their minds.  This past Saturday, sweetie and I decided we would cut all the old tags off and I would fill out my own card and leave it on the bag so they might get it correct.

Ahhh.  Those clever boys had the hatch open on the car before I could even get my seat belt off.  As soon as I stepped out and approached the desk, they were greeting me and writing MISS JULY as big as life.  Well, what is a girl to do?  It really makes no difference.  I have a history of people calling me other names than my own.  I get Linda, Julie, Carol, a few non-repeatable names and my own mother-in-law called me Robin early in my relationship with her son.  I've gotten used to it and sometimes the correction isn't worth the effort.  This is one of those times.

Golf here is very unique.  All the courses have caddies and you are required to have one.  Some of them are quite skilled golfers in their own right and their advice can be very helpful to a newbie like me.  Some of them will tee your ball up for you, select a club for you and give you little hints as to what landmark to aim for.  For example they might say "bunga merah" (red flower) referring to a red flowering shrub in the distance.  Or perhaps "pohon tingi kiri" (tall tree on the left).  They will tell you the break of the green and if you should hit your putt three balls to the right, or if it is downhill, or if it is a fast green.  It is all great info, but putting all that info to use is sometimes just not possible to an inconsistent beginner.  But bless their hearts, I do appreciate it and I am hoping to one day make them proud and actually convert their suggestions in to action.

Some of the caddies are great fun.  Last week we had Hendri and Rudi as our caddies.  Hendri was very nice.  Never laughed and would cheer and high five me if I made a good shot.  He and Rudi knew that their tips would be better if they cheered us on and kept the comments about bad shots to themselves.  But their excitement seemed pretty genuine as we got very excited too when we made a good solid drive or actually made par on a hole.  Whoohooo!

One of the cuter things that happened involved one of my club head covers.  I purchased a zombie cover for my driver.  He has one eye that hangs out and a Mohawk hairdo.  Well by the 15th hole I think poor Hendri was just about worn out with me and my coordination was about shot so it was getting rather ugly.  So while I was waiting for my turn to tee off, I see Hendri over to the side punking up my zombies hair.  He was combing it with his fingers and then pushing it between his hands so the Mohawk would stand straight up.  It was rather hilarious considering that a few weeks before the caddy I had would hold my zombie by his ears and give him a little shake and make a grrrrr sound.  My zombie gets lots of attention and should never feel neglected.

The other thing that happened was that when we stopped to use the restroom and get a drink at the club house between the front nine and the back nine we ordered some spring rolls.  We were a little hungry and they make some of the best iced lemon tea I've had in Indonesia there at the club house so we decided to add a snack with it.  Unfortunately, the usual wait time didn't happen and we had to drive off without our food.  As we were finishing up on the 10th hole, here comes two cute young ladies from the clubhouse with our spring rolls and dipping sauce.  I loved that soooo much.  So we munched and drank our tea and golf carted over to the next hole.

But I do have to say sometimes the caddies are not as fun.  My Arnold Palmer had a caddy two weeks ago who must have been going to broadcast school as he commented on every single shot honey pie made.  Now, typically par golf would give you a score of 72 on a course.  As beginners, we do not hit the ball 72 times.  We are in the triple digit category.  So, the potential was for over 100 comments to be made.  I think about half way through the round, patients were getting a might thin and my duffer asked the caddy to not speak.  The caddy interpreted this as it was OK to mumble these comments instead.  It was an amusing situation.  Sort of.  It all worked out OK, but our Jim Nantz did not get above the standard amount you are expected to tip that day.

It will be interesting to see how we improve.  I can honestly say, that most of the time I see improvement in myself.  There are times that you wish for divine intervention to help you hit the ball.  But we are enjoying it.  And since we have played the same course a number of times in a row you get to observe things and even name holes.

We have the wildlife hole where we have seen a turtle, brightly colored frogs and a handsome rooster on the tee box.  There is one hole that is next to a beautiful garden so you get to see what veggies are growing well and whT needs to be harvested.  There are a couple of kampung holes so you have the opportunity to wing it into someone's living space.

The caddies have little sayings.  If you get too far under the ball and it lifts way too high into the air they call it a garuda.  A garuda is a mythical bird so it is an appropriate analogy.  they shade their eyes with a hand placed firmly over their brow and say "Garuda."  If you hit one into the trees and you hear it hitting and bouncing off things they say something about Kalimantan.  Why?  I do not know.  Kalimantan is an Indonesian island and it is dense jungle with things like orangutans, rhinos and tigers living there.  I do think there is a lot of wood production from there, unfortunately, so maybe that is it.  But they laugh and so do you - sometimes.

We will continue to play and improve I hope.  It will be the only time in my life where I will have a caddy lugging my bag around, teeing up the ball for me and giving me putting advice so I am enjoying that and it makes the learning experience pretty fun.

The views are quite lovely at many of the courses.  There are beautiful flowers, palm trees and many time volcanoes with interesting cloud formations hanging on their flanks.  On some holes you will hear music, some of it makes me feel like I am at the Renaissance Festival in Texas with the flutes and drums, children's laughter as they play, the call to prayers going, and cows and chickens making their appropriate sounds.

With all that entertainment, I don't mind being called Miss July.  It seems a small price to pay for a day filled with sights and sounds and garudas and fun caddies.

As I tell my sweetie, "Swing with belief and putt with confidence."